How I’ve turned my fear of abandonment into gratitude.
“What doesn’t serve me, doesn’t belong to me.”
“They are not pieces in my puzzle, something that will never connect”
Some daily affirmations I find myself making since finding my alignment, my place of peace.
You know those moments when you get signs from the universe that you’ve stepped into your highest power? The ones where you question your every thought and make every move with strategic intentions?
Those are the times where I know I’ve leveled up in my spirituality. Because I can look back and be so fucking proud of how I decided on PURPOSE to RESPOND to every situation how my authentic self wants to show up.
I definitely did not show up as this person in my previous ‘sad Kailey’ days. I showed up in pain, years of trauma, broken hearted and abandoned Kailey. Someone who had lost both parents by the age of 9. My father to suicide & my mom to cancer.
Luckily I was born a fucking warrior. I just couldn’t see it yet. Someone who had zero idea the things she could accomplish by 33, let’s be honest I couldn’t see past my 20’s. I was stuck. I was undervalued and in an abusive relationship which drove me back into my trauma of being abandoned and not good enough for another human to fully love.
My whole life I’ve spent saying, everything that’s happened to me, is getting me through what I’m currently going through. And let me tell you, I went through some shit before I finally started to see my worth.
I promised myself that I would never let another human have the power over me, to ruin me. That no single other being could rock my world or make me feel as worthless as I felt at my rock bottom.
Every. Single. Step forward in self love & gratitude awakens your soul. I kept loving myself, learning and soaking up knowledge about the brain, how trauma works and how I’ve used my own strategies my whole life to keep trauma managed. I’ve studied life coaching, nutrition and read countless books, but my life & experiences is where my true, most raw knowledge lies. Something that only the traumatic experiences in our lives can shape.
And when I decided to flip my fear of abandonment for gratitude. My whole being & energy shifted. My empathetic, loving and understanding has been leveled up to see past negativity to see thier hurt. To understand that most people will never have the heart I do and still shine my light despite that.
Everything in this life has happened for me not to me. My perspective to see the light & lessons out of every situation has proven one thing for me…. That if you choose with intentions to leave the world a little more beautiful each day, you create a snowball effect for contagious positivity in your life.
I choose to not let my past define who I am as a woman, mother, wife, daughter & friend. I choose to thank the universe for making me into a tenacious, determined, strong & confident woman. I am proud. Proud that I didn’t cave to a lesser life than I deserved. Proud that I could set my ego aside and own the dark bullshit, the stuff you’d never say outloud in a room with anyone. That’s when I stepped into my power. I stepped into my energy and saw its power, every time. And now I’ve fiercely loved myself, fallen back in love with my choices, and choose to use my faults as my stepping stones each day to show up better than the next. I choose gratitude. And suddenly, you wake up and realize, you’re happy as fuck as you!
Growth is an amazing place to be. You should try it sometime 🌻.